Engaged and Underage - the Mormon wedding

First blog - what to write about? I watched Engaged and Underage, and as many know, it was about a mormon wedding. I surprisingly found it very tasteful, except when the girl (Amanda I think?) flipped out about the ring ceremony. I think that she was just very young and stressed out though.

I'm actually really glad about the ring ceremony in the show, because I think that it is important to make everyone feel involved in a wedding. Daren and I didn't have one, but then again most of our family came into the temple with us. I know that if Daren or my family had been non-members, we definitely would have had one. I think that it doesn't matter whether you wanted one or not, as this girl in the episode did not, because it is important for everyone in the intermediate family to feel included. I have a friend who married a convert to the church, and since his parents couldn't go to the temple because they weren't members who had gone through the necessary steps, but her parents could, they decided to go to the Hawaii temple by themselves and get married, JUST the two of them. They had a reception about two weeks later. I'm sure this hurt her parents, but I also think it was good of her to not let one family feel excluded and the other one included. However, if I had been in the situation, I would have probably just have done the ring ceremony.

What most people don't know is that even though members who get married in the temple don't go through any of the traditional wedding things, many traditional wedding things happen after. I had bridesmaids at my wedding, and ever mormon wedding I've been to has had the traditional bouquet throwing, garner toss, cutting of the cake, bridesmaids and groomsmen. I had the daddy-daughter dance, and our first dance as a couple. While I would have been perfectly happy just getting married in the temple and that being that, I'm glad that I had the rest. It truly helped to make the day memorable, and it was a lot of fun.

So to those who saw the episode, I thought it was a very tasteful episode, but I do wish they would have done it for a couple who didn't live in Utah. There are those of us out there who aren't from Utah that are mormon and married young.

I was concerned for the family though. I wish that I had something to say to the aunt in the episode about the whole family thing, but I think having a ring ceremony helped to compensate it. There are a few things that I find hard to accept in the church, such as how she said that we focus so much on the family, but don't allow them to see anything regarding the wedding. I truly empathize with them, and wish there was something I could have said to make her feel better. If I am ever in a similar situation, I hope that I can be understanding and careful with my words. However, there really wasn't any ta da's in the temple. It was very simple, and I think if a non-mormon had come to see it, they would have been like, "That's the big deal? That's what is so restricted from non-mormons and mormons who haven't gone through the temple?" Like I said, it wasn't nearly as fancy as a typical wedding. I think a lot of mormons grow up thinking temple marriage ceremony is different than it is, I know that I did.

That's all I've got on the issue, but for the most part, I thought the episode was well done. Sorry to write so extensively about it, it just hit close to home. My only complaint is that they should have gotten a more mature 19-year-old mormon girl. There are plenty out there to represent the mormon community. But I think the girl was really happy with the ring ceremony in the end, and that's what I think is important.